Life seemed to have become a
silent sea for me. Things are going in a same pace for a long time. All the
doors of my expectations are gradually shutting off as I am living every minute
of my life. My principal, honesty and moral deemed too weak to combat the cruel
reality. Ethics and integrity which I regarded as my biggest strength for so
long turned out to be the weakest feature of my character. It brings about
frustration in me often, yet I control myself from falling down and try to wipe
out my regrets through writing.
As I am growing old with years
passing by one thing I realized quite well that there is no resemblance between
the texts that we read during our student lives with reality. Everyone is running
after money, our society somehow got infected with the disease of dishonesty.
While, lying on bed almost every night, I just rewind back to my childhoods
days when my immature mind bore plenty of dreams in it. Fictionally everything
is same but somewhere I can’t find the pleasure that I had as a boy. Watching
cinemas like “Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne”, “Damu” etc used to give me pleasure that
I still tirelessly seek for.
The days and nights, festivals
and occasions do not hold any more significance in my life; everything seems to
have become infertile and fade to me. Witnessing every dreams of mine breaking
into pieces somewhere deep inside an in-erasable crack in my heart lighted on. The
dream that I had to leave my impact on earth after my departure for the eternal
journey, suffered a blow and I, no longer possess any dream in me. I am just
going with the flow without any resistance I accept any situation I am into.
Hope, sooner rather than later things will turn around for me and life will
have abundant of surprise and happiness to greet me with.
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