Wednesday, 8 January 2020

Unleashing mourning of a gloomy mind

Life seemed to have become a silent sea for me. Things are going in a same pace for a long time. All the doors of my expectations are gradually shutting off as I am living every minute of my life. My principal, honesty and moral deemed too weak to combat the cruel reality. Ethics and integrity which I regarded as my biggest strength for so long turned out to be the weakest feature of my character. It brings about frustration in me often, yet I control myself from falling down and try to wipe out my regrets through writing.

As I am growing old with years passing by one thing I realized quite well that there is no resemblance between the texts that we read during our student lives with reality. Everyone is running after money, our society somehow got infected with the disease of dishonesty. While, lying on bed almost every night, I just rewind back to my childhoods days when my immature mind bore plenty of dreams in it. Fictionally everything is same but somewhere I can’t find the pleasure that I had as a boy. Watching cinemas like “Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne”, “Damu” etc used to give me pleasure that I still tirelessly seek for.


The days and nights, festivals and occasions do not hold any more significance in my life; everything seems to have become infertile and fade to me. Witnessing every dreams of mine breaking into pieces somewhere deep inside an in-erasable crack in my heart lighted on. The dream that I had to leave my impact on earth after my departure for the eternal journey, suffered a blow and I, no longer possess any dream in me. I am just going with the flow without any resistance I accept any situation I am into. Hope, sooner rather than later things will turn around for me and life will have abundant of surprise and happiness to greet me with. 

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