My solitary confinement

I really feel lonely today, lying on my bed in the chilly afternoon of December. Through the window of my room the Sun can be seen through the branches of the mango tree that stands tall just opposite my apartment. Life has indeed changed for me in last one year; most importantly I came to know life anew with new experiences. Things seems to be so predictable to me that these days I barely feel enchanted by the surprises of life.  The time that I left behind appeared so priceless at this moment. I wish I could realize the meaning of happiness few years back; then perhaps I would have embraced those days more closely to my heart.  

I can now sense an emptiness within me that seeks for someone who would be my lifetime companion. I seldom feel envy of those who have the privilege to have that special one close to them; then again I soothe myself with the contemplation, that life does not mean to be perfect in every way, it rather means to be content with what we have. Somehow, I can comprehend that with age my perception towards different aspects of life is changing. Those which used to hold immense significance to me few years back now look so irrelevant.

My contemporary solitary confinement at my new apartment, where the morning and night, all appear so gloomy to me that my mind imbued with only agony and grief. I can hear the whistle of the trains that pass by the station every night when the darkness and silence swallow up everything around. In the dark night my longing to have her in my arms and touch her lips with mine likely to take more intense shape that in turn brings about the tide of restlessness within me. The agony that filled all in me is caused by the sense of losing the known one and the regret to never get them back again. The loneliness that has engulfed me is gradually tightening its grip upon me so strongly that it looks impossible to overpower it ever.