A throwback to old memories

As a child I always wanted to grow up and have a life of my own. Being a boy, I used to dream of visiting restaurants, roaming around with friends and so on, when I would grow up. But, when I have come to that position in life that I can avail almost everything I dreamt of being a child, that do not really matter much to me now. Somewhere, I believe many of you can relate your thoughts to me that now as a grown up person, our lives have become so predictable to us, doing the same thing every day somewhat occupied most of our daily schedule. The pleasure that I had in eating once in a month or twice from the local restaurant as a child, indeed held more significance to me than anything I do now. The consolation and tenderness I received from my parents as a boy, I miss it very much, and I wish I could go back to the time and held my parents tightly but something doesn’t let me do so. The intriguing memory, of playing football on the muddy ground and thereafter visiting the local pond to wash off all the mud, still makes me feel nostalgia. The longing that I had to visit my relatives house during the holidays can never be compared to anything that I have in my life at present.

The high school memories are quite vivid in my mind, the pleasure that we had when it rang for the tiffin-break, intrigued an inexplicable happiness in us. During the break, I still remember, in the sweltering heat of summer, we all used to play football with a piece of stone in the dust. The smell of the soil is often rewinding me to my school days, I seldom picturesque those days, lying on bed now. The joy that we had in buying pickles for two rupees and shared it among five friends, for which each of us lingered to the school gate no matter how late it was, brought about an unknown rejuvenation in us.  

It was then, when we completed our tenth exams (Madhyamik) and it was the time that almost all of us come into the state to feel or possess the desire to fall in love for the first time in life. I still remember, there was no exception for us as well. The feeling to fall in love for the first time as a child is something irreplaceable by anything. Looking back to those days I savor the memories to the fullest, it gives me abundant amount of joy that perhaps nothing else can bring. As life went on and we reached college, it was another beautiful phase that I will cherish throughout my life. Having the sense to become adult and travelling far in casual dress code in my institution for the first time, somewhere brought an enigmatic feeling in all of us. Being a college student life appeared so rosy to us back then, we had no idea about the thorn laid ahead for us to encounter.

Nonetheless, with time everything has changed, so as I, but as humanity is still intact in me, I still love to enjoy a stormy afternoon sitting on my Veranda and recalling the memories of my school days. Perhaps, life is like that, which invariably lures us for the future but we seem to be never satisfied what lies ahead in the horizon. We somewhere love to latch on to our old memories.  While talking about the past days, I must not skip Durga Puja, which is deemed as the highest significance to any Bengali’s life.  I still reminiscent of those days when as an adult, we had enjoyed every beat of it. Our financial dependency and limited budget could never thwart our excitement to celebrate the festivals with surplus of joy and pleasure. Notwithstanding, all the obstacles what we had in life was certainly the charm that I miss very much these days. Life has indeed changed a lot, now neither I possess the desire for Pandel hoping nor feel like eating expensive foods that I can easily afford. What I really seek for is rather the charm that we had as an adult boy, it is subtly I lack now but, nevertheless I feel happy for the time I passed by as a young boy few years back.